A conversation about “dog friends”
One of the puppies in a training class Hope is teaching just finished her puppy vaccines. She now has veterinarian’s permission to go places and do things where other dogs go and do things. At the end of class, Hope always asks for questions. The puppy’s owner was a little surprised at the answers she got:
“How should we go about letting our dog meet other dogs when we’re out?”
“Cross the street and avoid them entirely!”
“But don’t we want our dogs to have other dog friends?”
“The only dog friends your dog needs are the ones in your family and circle of friends.”
“But aren’t dog pack animals?”
“You’re their pack! Can you imagine wolves going to visit other packs?”
“But shouldn’t we socialize our dogs?”
“Socialization means your dog is comfortable enough to listen to you wherever you are. It doesn’t mean they’re interested in anybody else. Or any other dogs.”
Dogs aren’t people
It’s wonderful that dogs are now recognized as part of the family. But acknowledging their importance doesn’t make them people. And while you may act as your dog’s parent, your responsibilities to the dog are much different than to your two-legged children.
One of the primary goals of good parenting is to raise a good, competent, independent person who will contribute to society. That’s the end game. It may take a couple of decades to get there, but it’s pretty much all parents’ long-term goal.
If you equate dog ownership with parenting, arrest that development at about five years old. Your dog is never going to be able to fend for themself. They’ll never have a job, earn any money, live independently, or pay taxes. They don’t need to function in society as long as they function in your home and family. That’s the priority and goal for your dog.
And that’s why they don’t need dog friends. Dogs can never be each other’s’ support system. That’s you. It’s what you signed up for when you got a dog.
No pressure
It’s time to ease up on the pressure. You’re not a bad dog owner if your dog doesn’t know or like other dogs. If you’re happy and your dog is happy, what’s the problem?
If your dog does like meeting and playing with other dogs, that’s great. But it’s not necessary. You’re not a “bad” dog mom if the only dogs your dog likes are yours. If your dog gets along with everyone in their “pack,” it’s a win.
Different set of pack mates
There are all kinds of combinations that can work as your dog’s “pack.” Family is first, of course. But there is also the dogs your dog may see often at doggie day care. That’s a different “pack.” Or a training class “pack.” One of the reasons we don’t allow new dogs in our classes in the middle of a session is because it upsets the balance of that “pack.” The first class of a new session is always loudest, and we get the least done. That’s because the dogs have to adjust to the new circumstances, and new participants.
Just like you have different sets of people in your life, dogs can, too. There are the people you work with. People you went to school with. People in your neighborhood. Those you see at your coffee shop, or favorite restaurant. Your dog is capable of being a part of many social groups. But they don’t have to meet, or like, everyone they encounter.
If you do want to enrich your dog’s life with a dog play group, there are of ways to do that. Aside from doggy day care facilities, there are also organized groups within neighborhoods, or social-media breed-specific opportunities. There are even rent-a-yard possibilities if you want to get together with other people and dogs on neutral territory. If you think your dog would enjoy it, by all means. But you’re not a bad dog owner if you don’t. Dogs don’t need to meet new dogs.
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