Do with, not just for, your dog

It’s time to stop just doing stuff for your dog. And start doing stuff with them.

You love your dog. You’d do anything for your dog. You make sure your dog is healthy, safe, and comfortable. But there may be a missing element. It’s the one thing that can change your relationship from caretaker to partner and best friend. That’s doing things with them, not just for them.

Prepositions matter

It’s a whole different level of involvement. One of the people in Hope’s “Intro to Tricks” class has an arms-length relationship with her dog. Mary’s had the dog “Poppy” for about a year, a perfect partner-in-crime for her other, older dog. A few weeks ago, Mary’s older dog passed away. Now she and Poppy are trying to navigate without the glue that held them together.

Mary’s done everything for Poppy. She’s taken her on scent-filled “sniffaris,” gone to the dog beach, gotten her “interactive” toys, even arranged play dates with friendly neighborhood dogs. What she hasn’t done is actually engaged with Poppy. They don’t really know each other at all.

There’s a world of difference between doing stuff for your dog and doing stuff with them. If you ask a dog which they’d prefer, they’ll choose with you every time.

How to play with your dog

Poppy had no idea that Mary could be fun. And Mary had no idea how to play with Poppy. She’d never done it before. She admitted that she’s never actually played with Poppy because her other dog was there. She didn’t know how to play with her dog.

The first relationship-building game we introduced was “Throw Your Dog Away!” It sounds more extreme than it is. You just get down on the floor with your dog facing you, put your palm against their chest and push a little, “throwing the dog away” while you tease them: “Go away!” “What’re you doing here? Get away!” Dogs’ opposition reflex kicks in and they bounce back at you. 

At the first little shove, Poppy had a look of outrage on her face. Then confusion. Then the light came on and her whole demeanor changed. You could almost see her think “Mom can be fun!” It was the very first time we saw her tail wagging in class.

Poppy, like any dog, would rather have a five-minute play training session with you than hours at the dog beach or any play date. It doesn’t take much to forge a lasting bond with your dog. It does take your participation and commitment. 

Play with your dog

The game doesn’t really matter. It doesn’t have to take long. We tell our students that five minutes is the maximum for any training game. That’s all it takes to build the kind of relationship you dreamed of when you got your dog.

While it takes time to build a new routine, both of you will be happier and have more fun with each other. You’ll get to know your dog better - what they like, what they’re good at, and what’s more difficult for them. Contrary to what most people think, it’s not the person who feeds them that dogs love most. It’s the one who’s down on the floor, throwing them away.