Dogs are forever toddlers

Life with a dog gets easier if you think of dogs as forever toddlers. They don’t have to grow up and move out, get a job, pay taxes, and be responsible. Relating to dogs is easier if you think of them as the equivalent of three-year-old children. They’re impulsive, at times defiant, other times sweet and needing cuddles.

What both dogs and toddlers have in common is learning to function in a world they don’t quite understand. If you do your parenting job well, your child will, in time, understand and find their own place in society. Your dog doesn’t have to. All they have to do is be “good.” You get to decide what that looks like.

Don’t do that

A significant difference between dogs and children is that people understand “don’t.” It’s an abstract concept, which is not a dog’s strength. When you’re walking down the hall and your dog is trying to grab your pants leg, “don’t do that” doesn’t work. You can teach them to do something else instead. When you’re heading down the hall, have a toy with you and offer it to the dog. You may be dragging the dog with you, but using a toy for that is better than your clothes.

We really want our dogs to stop barking at the neighbor kid shooting hoops. The kid is addicted to the activity, and does it every day it’s not snowing or raining. The hoop, kid, and bouncing ball are all visible from our yard. The dogs dash to that side of the yard and would stand at the fence barking their fool heads off if we didn’t intervene.

We didn’t yell at them to shut up. Or “Stop Barking.” Instead, we provide something else, something more fun, for them to do - play with us. One of their favorite games is “Touch,” so we use that. If we’re both around, we play “Collar Grab.” 

Be more fun 

It’s not hard to get your dog to pay attention to you. You just have to be the most interesting thing around. Be the shiny object that attracts your dog’s attention. Take the treat bag with you. Or grab a toy your dog loves. Provide a reason for your dog to focus on you.

The goal is to make the good choices more attractive than the bad ones. When toddlers first start having definite opinions and making decisions, you don’t throw open the closet doors and say “What do you want to wear today.” Instead, you choose two adorable outfits and say “Which one do you want to wear today?” Your toddler is happy to get their choice. And you know it’s a choice you can live with.