Pity Doesn’t Help Your Pup

We met a dog today who’s had a rough life. She’s an eight-year-old toy poodle who’s pretty much scared of the whole world. Justifiably so. After pushing out litter after litter of puppies in a puppy mill, she was abandoned when she could no longer produce.

Apparently, someone associated with the mill who has a fraction of a heart contacted a rescue and told them her approximate whereabouts. She was collected and delivered to a foster home where she got a few weeks to decompress. Now, she’s been adopted by a lovely woman in a senior community. In time, this woman and her new dog will make a terrific team.

Not An Object Of Pity

Nancy hasn’t had a life of luxury—until now. With her new mom, Gail, she will.

Almost the first thing we told Gail was to stop pitying her new dog. It’s simply not necessary anymore. Nancy now lives in a high-rise in a wonderful community. She’s never going to have puppies, go hungry, or be dirty with massive matting again. This girl has landed herself on Easy Street.

Gail’s eyes got really wide. She never realized, as many adopters don’t, that her sympathy was actually a roadblock to the big, full life her dog can have. Sure, to beat an analogy to death, there were major detours along the way. But they’re over. It’s a clear path to joy from now on.

Sunshine Ahead

It will take some time for Nancy to believe that she’s safe and loved. But tiptoeing around her won’t build her confidence. Challenging her to try new things, explore new places, and play with that new mountain of toys will gradually seep into her psyche.

Intellectually, we all understand that dogs live in the moment. They are shaped by their experiences, but new learning can supplant even horrendous previous trauma. No matter their age, dogs can learn. Even something as dramatic as: “Life is good.”

A Matter-of-Fact Approach

Instead of catering to Nancy’s fears, Gail needs to project confidence. She must show Nancy both that everything is okay, and that Nancy is capable of handling new things.

This applies to everything—from something as simple as eating out of a bowl, to big things like going for a walk in their busy downtown neighborhood. They can do it. But not if the “poor baby” is allowed to stay shut down and shivering.

As Nancy settles into her secure new home, she’ll find many new and potentially intimidating situations. As long as she has her owner as a confidence touchstone, she’ll be fine. Nancy will blossom into the dog she was always meant to be, leaving her rotten past exactly where it belongs: in the past.

Stop Being Sorry For Your Dog

If you’ve welcomed a shelter or rescue dog into your life, it’s only natural to feel sorry for where they’ve been.

But it's time to stop. They aren’t there anymore.

A dog’s past can only hold them back if you persist in keeping it alive. No matter how horrible it was, now is great. That is the mindset to keep at the forefront of your relationship with your dog.

Did you adopt a rescue dog? How long did it take for them to finally realize they were safe? Let us know in the comments below!